Certainly, in today’s world, there’s no shortage of stressful events and challenges and children are not immune to them. Whilst stress is a normal response to challenges and change, to help ensure it’s a positive response, take a look at some parenting tips that can guide you through.
But first, what does stress look like for a child?
Stress has a purpose. It’s a signal to get ready.
Stress is a reaction to both positive and negative events, changes or challenges ahead. Positive stress helps children to prepare for, adapt to or protect against any event with a boost of adrenaline and confidence to rise to a challenge. Positive stress helps children reach their goals, focus on a task, develop persistence and build resilience. As adults, we know the stress of a deadline and also the sense of achievement that comes with it. Children are learning this as both a feeling and a skill and we can help them use positive stress for their development.
When stress moves beyond the positive, we might see some of the behaviours below. Naturally, signs of stress in children vary by age and by individual and no one knows your child better than you. But these are some of the changes that are common for young children experiencing ongoing stress:
- Mood changes
- Withdrawing from activities they previously enjoyed
- Becoming clingy or needing more close attention
- Expressing worry, fear or anxiety
- Conflict with friends
- Complaining or crying
- Poor sleep or appetite
- Tummy aches without cause
In younger children, it might show as taking a step back in milestones they have achieved or taking comfort in a particular behaviour or toy again from a younger time.
We want to help our children with the coping mechanisms and strategies for handling the stressors that come up to keep a healthy balanced state of mental and physical health.
Be attuned to their world
Kids are like sponges and are absorbing everything around them, from what they hear and read to the feelings in the room. As a parent, we can stay attuned to noticing our children’s behaviour and their reactions to what’s happening around them. Showing empathy and care whilst providing safety and security can help guide them through their feelings of stress.
- Listen with patience when they share their feelings
- Be an observer and name what you are noticing with their emotions
- Notice their body language as well as their words
- Consider their environment and what might be unhelpful in learning to regulate their response to stress
Teaching mindful strategies for children’s stress
Managing stress well is a learned behaviour and the earlier these strategies are introduced, the better equipped your child can be. At Academe Time our focus is on nurturing children to grow into mindful adults with the confidence to navigate their way through life’s challenges. That’s why you’ll see some of the below strategies within our programs. Introduce them at home as well for extra practice and positive reinforcement.
Breathing
There’s a reason deep breathing works to lower stress levels and bring a sense of calm and control. It calms the nervous system, lowers the blood pressure and reduces the levels of stress hormones in the blood. For young children, you can use imagery and counting to help develop this skill, along with a toy on their tummy to learn abdominal breathing.
Sleep
Sleep is so important for children as it’s the recovery time for their growing bodies. During sleep, their cortisol (stress hormone) levels decrease, allowing for a deep, restorative sleep. This creates balance for the next day for alertness, attention, mood and resiliency, which all help with negating stress.
Mindfulness in the present
With big worries ahead, it’s helpful to have strategies that reset to focus on the present. Practising grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, where they name five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell and one thing they can taste, helps to focus their attention in the moment to reduce worry or anxiety.
Positive self-talk
When stress becomes harmful, it often leads to negative self-talk and a child feels they aren’t coping or equipped for the challenge ahead. Encouraging them to verbalise themselves in a positive frame can shift a stress response and nurture self-esteem and resilience. This can include phrases such as “I can do this” or “I am strong”.
Physical activities and hobbies
A good stress breaker is the endorphins that are released during exercise. Regular physical activities are not only important for a child’s growth and development, but they also bring focus to the present and build confidence and resilience, which are skills that help children to handle stress.
Creative hobbies also assist with shifting focus into a positive mindset and creating an outlet for their emotions. At Academe Time, our programs cater to both the physical and the creative activities to support physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. View programs available at your school here.
As your child grows and they learn more about the world around them, the skills they develop now will ensure they have the emotional and mental strategies for facing challenges and change. It’s a way to guide them towards keeping stress as a positive influence in their daily life, now and in their future.
